Bismillah.
Jarang betul aku update blog sekarang. I have reach to one point in life where I feel like, "Not everything about my life can be shared with the outside world." Jatuh bangun yang pelbagai. Lagi2 pasal anak. Bila melibatkan anak, apa2 yang kite nak share pun fikir 10x. Kalau tak perlu share buat apa nak share kn?
Entri harini tentang Asiyah. Asiyah binti Muhammad Abqari, dan Asiyah permaisuri Fir'aun.
Saat aku kandungkan anak aku Asiyah ni, memang saat paling banyak ujian dalam hidup aku. Aku tak pernah rasa detik kepayahan, kesusahan, yang memaksa aku untuk jadi kuat yang lebih hardcore daripada saat aku kandungkan Asiyah. Dan yang paling magical nya Allah kurniakan saat tu jugaklah aku rasa kekuatan yang teramat kental yang aku tak tahu datang dr mana. Allah has prepared for me everything!
Bila nak menamakan Asiyah, aku dengar je lagu 'Ratu Shahadah' kisah Asiyah permaisuri Fir'aun, aku baca Quran kisah Asiyah, I feel strongly attached, I know she is my Asiyah. She is my strength. I tried to put another name, but it just doesn't match. I tried to put nama Balqis, sebab kisah Balqis juga ada dalam Al-Quran, menceritakan kebijaksanaannya dan bagaimana hebatnya Balqis sebagai seorang Ratu. But it doesn't match.
Asiyah. She's really, a symbol of my strength.
Lepas bersalin je, aku menjadi seorang wanita, seorang ibu, seorang isteri, seorang anak, yang manja. Kuat nangis, kali ini menangis lemah, bukan menangis kuat seperti ketika aku mengandung dulu. Dipukul angin sikit teresak-esak mengadu pada suami, kakak, ayah dan ibu. Dan juga kawan2 rapat aku. Sampai dorang kata,
"Sejak dah jadi ibu ni, dah makin manja."
Sometimes, when a wave came and hit me, I cried and cried and cried. "Benci...benci..." I said. So weak. So helpless. I didn't know what to do. I look into my baby Asiyah. Why is it when you left my womb, I've lost strength. So I hugged her. I know she'll grow and become a strong Muslimah. She, InsyaAllah, have the power to change the world. I pray for Allah to protect her from the evil of this world and guide us all to Jannah.
When I feel weak and helpless, she crawled to me smiling, calling me with her baby language, laughing. As if she's telling me, "Mama, you cry again..." And then I hugged her. It made me feel better.
So today, I found a story of Asiyah, The Jewel of Jannah.
Jewels of Jannah
There are some women whose resolve you can't shake. They are strengthened by Allah and submit to nothing except Allah. Even the greatest Tyrant cannot make them give up their Faith. Asiyah the wife of Firaun was one such woman. Her strength & status will forever remain an example for all mankind.She was a woman who never allowed herself to be defined or limited by her painful circumstances. She carried in her such a Deep Faith and Knowledge of who she really was that she was willing to die for what she believed in. The Prophet (s.a) mentioned her as one of the greatest woman of all times. Her Faith was so strong that she was willing to die for it. When Firaun found out that she believed in the oneness of God he tortured her severely but her belief in God was so strong. Despite living in luxury like a Queen she knew her true home was in Paradise. No attachments to this life. Despite all the persecutions she was going through, Allah made it easy on her so much so that when she was tortured she could still smile. If Allah is with you even the hardest struggle can become light. If you can see your home with Allah in Jannah, No matter what you are going through in this life it can become easy. We have different things in life thrown at us. What are we going to define our self worth by? Women's self worth are mostly defined by society by how attractive they are, how thin they are. Our self worth should only come from ONE relationship and that is our Relationship with Our Creator. In the Story of Asiyah is an everlasting example woman who chose the Hereafter over all of the glitter of the World. A woman whose love for Allah and the yearn to return to Him was greater. A woman whose faith inspired her to take on the greatest Tyrant of her times~ May Allah Bless Her with the Highest Jannah Ameen {Extracted from Yasmin Mogahed Lecture}
Firstly, statement "She was a woman who never allowed herself to be defined or limited by her painful circumstances.", cukup menggambarkan jiwa aku ketika mengandungkan Asiyah.
Aku juga terharu dengan ayat,
Despite living in luxury like a Queen she knew her true home was in Paradise.
dan
If Allah is with you even the hardest struggle can become light.
Pastu aku juga tersentap dengan ayat: What are we going to define our self worth by?
Dalam life kite semua banya masalah, cabaran, dugaan, tapi kalau kite lemah2 berputus asa, soalan di atas memang tepat sekali untuk kite.
Akhir kata, semoga Allah memelihara kite semua sampai ke Jannah. Ameen.
(Ps: Nampak tak aku dah kurang pandai membebel? Tapi in the end point sampai jugak kan? So paham2 sendiri jela.)
